Crypto's Latest PR Stunt: Sex Toys, the WNBA, and the Absurd Quest for Mainstream Attention

Just when you think you’ve seen every possible flavor of crypto marketing insanity, from laser eyes to Elon Musk’s dog-themed tweets, the universe says, “Hold my beer.”

The latest chapter in the “what on earth are we doing?” saga comes from the unholy intersection of cryptocurrency, professional basketball, and, I kid you not, sex toys. A crypto group, in a stroke of what they must have considered marketing genius, has been orchestrating the tossing of dildos onto WNBA courts to pump their new coin.

Let that sink in.

On one level, I have to respect the sheer, unadulterated chaos of it all. It’s a desperate, primal scream for attention in a market so saturated with noise that you apparently need to involve flying phalluses to get noticed. The logic, as explained by an anonymous member, was to “intercept some of that attention” from the “controversy” around the WNBA. Mission accomplished, I guess? People are certainly talking.

But on another, more sane level, this is a perfect, depressing snapshot of the state of the crypto “culture.” We have a technology with the potential to reshape finance, privacy, and the internet itself, and this is the killer app some people land on. It feels like being handed the keys to a Ferrari and immediately using it to deliver pizzas.

It’s the cringey, adolescent phase of a revolution that we just can’t seem to shake. While some of us are trying to have serious conversations about self-sovereignty and economic freedom, there’s a whole other corner of the market playing 4D chess with dildos.

So, congratulations to the “Dildo Warriors” or whatever they call themselves. You got your headlines. But for the rest of us, it’s a reminder that the road to mass adoption is long, weird, and apparently, littered with sex toys.